Every day across the world in boardrooms, committees, social groups, clubs and families – people are constantly making choices on who they should choose for the promotion, who should be selected and who they want to spend time with.

Even in situations where a technical skill is required to complete a task it is the “likeability factor” that is the deciding choice. The conversation might go something like this

“So what do you think of Mr A?”

“I think he is very competent and everyone in the team like him”

“what about Mr B?”

“Although he is good technically he has issues getting along with people”

Therefore in this situation it is entirely feasible for a person with lower technical skill but with a higher likeability factor to get the role. I am not saying technical skill are not relevant in the above situation but the ability to get along with people, the “likeability factor” is rated higher.

Therefore learn the key soft skills that will improve your likeability factor. Try to build an “old shoe” personality where people are relaxed in your presence.

Here are some things that are paying dividends for me

1. Aggressively listen and pay attention when a person is talking.
2. Every one of us crave validation – did you hear me, did you see me and did what I say mean anything to you? Are you fully here with me or are you distracted?
3. Smile often and regularly.
4. Try and avoid arguments, complaining and criticising people. The best way to improve on this is to track when and where you were successful or can improve. This has immensely helped me focus and improve.
5. Genuinely try to see things from the other person’s point of view. Mastering this will equip you with the ability to sell snow at the North Pole. It requires the application of all the above skills.

Readers what do you think? Any other tips that have helped your dealings with people?

DAR